In my last post I spoke about body image and what we see
when we look in the mirror. This was a post very close to my heart as I myself
was struggling with the changes to my body post competing earlier this year and
as I took a look around and listened to clients I realised that sadly most
women look in the mirror and are not happy with their reflection. Or that most
women place a massive amount of pressure on themselves to weigh a certain
number and even further place their happiness on that. E.g. “I’d just be happy
if I lost 10kg” or “I’d be so happy if I weighed only 50kg”.
So today I want to talk a little bit more about my own
journey to resuming a happy and healthy relationship with my body and myself and
I also want to encourage everyone out there to a. stop being your own worst
enemy by talking about yourself or your body negatively b. stop placing your
happiness on a number or anything similar (e.g. I’ll just be happy if I have a
6 pack or lean arms or smaller legs) and c. stop comparing yourself to others
as they are not you!
Let me first start by telling you all that my own journey to
body happiness is still a “work in progress” where I take each day as it comes.
There are days that I look in the mirror and focus on the things I love about
my body and feel completely at ease and happy with my appearance and then of
course there are days where all that I can see are what I consider as my flaws
and get that little craving in my head thinking “I just want to be lean again.” I made the decision not to compete this season as deep down I knew I had the wrong intentions of it the second time round and it was more important to restore health and happiness from the inside before I decided to step on stage again.
Now don’t get me wrong I know most people would look at me
and ask “What does she mean, she is lean?” but remember as I spoke about in my
previous post, what we see and what others see can be two completely different
images. Everyone has their own idea of how they look and this is why I think that people need to learn to look past that mirror reflection because otherwise they may never find what they seek there.
So what do I do on these days when the negative voices try
and deter me and get me feeling down about myself?
1.
I make sure I do put effort into my physical
appearance. Doing my hair, makeup and wearing something that I feel comfortable
and confident in. Sounds like something so small and maybe silly but the fact
is when you look good you do feel good to some level.
2.
In saying this like I said physical appearance isn't the be and end all so I also make sure I eat well and I train because while
I may not feel great about my body that day I need to remember the BIG picture
and need to continue to look after myself on the inside as well instead of self
sabotaging by eating something off plan or skipping the gym. At the end of the day eating a block of chocolate is really only going to make me feel worse not better.
3.
Whenever I catch myself in the mirror I try and smile.
Yep I smile. I remind myself of all of the good things in my life. I count
myself lucky to have my health and fitness and be able to share my knowledge
and skills with others. Again something so small and yes I’m going to sound
cheesy (no pun intended) but a smile truly is one of the best things a person
can wear. Someone who has a smile on their face radiates inner happiness and
beauty more than someone with a scowl or frown. Remembering too that I work in
a gym so I’m surrounded by mirrors A LOT each day lol.
Now I know you may read these things sceptically but these
are just things that I do, things I find help me in the moments of self doubt
and criticism.
For those of you out there who are resting your happiness on
being 5kgs lighter, on getting rid of those flabby arms, on having a flat
stomach, ask yourself this “Will I truly be happy if I get these things?” and
“Am I willing to do whatever it takes to get there?”
If getting (and keeping) a flat stomach means cutting out
all of your favourite sweet and or savoury treats, never being able to dine out
or enjoy a glass of wine with friends, having to train 6 days a week, then are
you willing to do that? You are? Ok great. Then tell me how “happy” you are
when you get that flat stomach, yet have socially isolated yourself from all
your friends and family. You may be happy externally at what you see when you
look in the mirror, but will you be happy or healthy internally?
Internal health/happiness is something that is highly
overlooked these days and it’s really sad that in an industry all about health
and fitness the focus has drifted primarily to the aesthetics of a person which
realistically is only a portion of assessing how one takes care of their body.
As I spoke about in my previous blog on this subject the
focus on how our bodies look seems to outweigh what our bodies can actually do.
Looking after your body is important but if you are doing it solely for
aesthetic purposes then I can safely say you will probably never be truly
satisfied. Sure you may get that flat stomach through constant dieting but then
you will decide you want bigger shoulders/glutes/back and realise to gain
muscle you need fuel. You need to eat! And there goes the flat stomach…
So what is my message behind this post? Well I guess a
follow up to make sure you guys are still working on your inner health/happiness
and trying to learn to love your body and yourself as a whole, imperfections
and all! As I said it’s still a work in progress for me and hey maybe it always
will be but I do know that it’s a hell of a lot better than where I was a year
ago and 50x better than where I was before I started my health and fitness
journey many years ago. I used to place so much emphasis on how I looked being
the key factor to being happy and I can tell you right now it’s not. While yes
it plays a role in my life it cannot be all I rely on to be happy. Being
healthy makes me happy, training makes me happy, being strong makes me happy,
eating good foods and still being able to enjoy treats here and there makes me
happy. Spending time with friends and family, working in a job I love and let’s
face it just being alive makes me happy. Together as a whole these are all
things that make me happy and relying solely on how I look or how much I weigh
or how much body fat I carry is not EVER going to be the defining factor. And
it shouldn’t be for you either.
Remember everyone has their imperfections and flaws but
these do NOT define you. Work on them, sure but do not allow them to dictate
your happiness within yourself.
Keep practising that self love guys its one of the most
important things you can do for yourself yet something people always put aside.
Have a great weekend J
