The aftermath of competition: not all chocolate and pizza 😉

Well it's been a little less than a week since I wrote last, and competed in my second and final comp for the season. This week has been pretty tough and I thought in keeping with the idea of sharing my journey with you guys (ups and downs both included) I'd give a little insight into the "aftermath" of competitions.

I know most people think that once you get off the stage it's all chocolate, desserts, pizza, nachos, ribs and so on but I'm here to tell you that this isn't the case- well not entirely lol and especially not if you want to maintain your body's long term health ( and by long term I'm talking years in the future not long term as in next seasons shows).

Don't get me wrong yes I indulged after my show, there was champagne and chips and dip, there was a 3 plate buffet brekky the next day, there was a few too many quest bar pb cups 🙊 lol. Monday night I actually ended up in bed by 7:30 with the worst indigestion and could not eat any more let alone think about it. 

Tuesday I was still waiting to hear from my coach but followed her instruction of returning to my previous weeks plan. I honestly felt like I was hungover that day and I knew it was my body's response to the change in foods I had fed it. 

While I thought I had gotten it out of my system for the time being it turned out later that day on a small break from clients I found myself face to face with the post comp peanut butter I had bought yet had never gotten around to sampling on Monday.

 For those of you unaware I LOVE peanut butter and during prep found these awesome flavored ones you can get including "white choc wonderful" and "the bees knees" which is a honey infused one. ANYWAY I sort of said to myself "oh you could just try them" and grabbed a teaspoon to have one of each, which turned to 2 and which later that night led to a couple more 😐 

I trained that night after work (more so probably feeling slightly guilty about the peanut butter lol) but it felt really good to get back into the gym after almost a week off. Like I said though later that night the pb crept out again and don't get me wrong I know what you guys might be thinking- a few teaspoons of peanut butter isn't going to hurt and you are right but it's more what was happening in my mind that was raising alarm for me. I was losing control and focus a little bit, and was starting to feel lost and a little bit down as many girls do post comp.

Wednesday rolled around and while I stuck to my plan again I was beginning to feel a bit hopeless and desperate. That "out of control feeling" like I could easily turn around and demolish the rest of those peanut butter tubs lol. Luckily my coach called me that day and we had a chat devising a new plan to slowly reverse diet me out of the restrictiveness I had been on pre-comp. Once I got the plan and could see more food, variety and so many things I enjoy that are still good for me on there my cravings disappeared and I felt grounded and focused again :)

Now to one of the most important points and the real idea behind this post. While it would be lovely to turn around post comp and eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and justify it by saying "I dieted for a long time, I earnt this" it's just not realistic for my body at this point. 

When you have deprived your body of fat for a period of time it goes into "survival mode" and therefore will be looking desperately to store almost anything it can as fat. This is why reverse dieting is so important, to slowly re-introduce foods and in doing this try and limit the amount of fat gain you have post comp.

Now don't get me wrong of course you can't maintain that "comp day physique" and you will regain body fat and some weight regardless which I know and my scales are already telling me but you CAN maintain a healthier and still relatively lean physique post comp. 

This will not only work in your favour if you plan on competing the following season but it will also help as to not damage your metabolism to a point where it is then 10x harder for you to lose body fat now or in the future.

I've heard many stories of girls putting on 10, up to 20kgs within wks of their shows and finding it extremely difficult to then budge that weight again despite doing "more cardio" and a return to dieting. Why? Because their metabolism is not processing at the same rate as they are feeding it and because their bodies are desperate to store fat.

So for those of you wondering my plans for now? I am slowly reverse dieting out with a great plan full of things I still enjoy and I know that will nourish my body and give me the right fuel to train etc. 

In regards to "treating myself" I am going to re-employ my 80/20: 90/10 rule that if you have read previous blogs of mine you will know I have used for years. This means 80-90% of the time I will be eating "clean" off my reverse plan and training with the allowance of that remaining percentage of indulgences, not over indulgences 😉

I will be resuming comp prep in about 6 weeks or so but in the meantime plan on enjoying a break and getting my body back on track not only to compete again but in order to maintain my own health physically and mentally long term :) 

Thanks again for reading- comments are always welcome or you can email me l.i.f.t.s.pt@hotmail.com or find me on Facebook :) 

The photo on the left is two weeks ago before my first comp and the photo on the right is this morning- my scale weight has increased about 2kg since last Wednesday but I know that my fluid retention would have increased again after depleting last week :) 

My journey to competition

The road to competition

It's been 15 weeks since I set out on my journey to compete in my first ever fitness model competition. Tomorrow I step on the stage for the second time in two weeks and right now I can't describe how I think I'll feel at that moment because so many emotions are running through me. 

Some of you know me or have read my blog and know my journey into the fitness industry but today I thought I'd share with you a part of my journey to stage, something personal. 

Last year I suffered through a lot of personal issues, due to fault and mistakes of my own which I openly admit I had relationships in my life fall apart that I never thought would and despite several efforts to rebuild the damage caused it just did not happen. This affected me greatly in terms of my own levels of self esteem and self confidence, something that was extremely hard for me as in the past 3 years of being a Personal Trainer I feel that I have built those qualities up to a great extent. Not that I let it show of course but I felt my passion and drive for my job, my clients and my own health/fitness and life in general were slowly slipping. In fact I would admit now, that despite what people may have seen on the front, I was at a pretty down point in my life.

Those who have read about my journey into the fitness industry (first blog) know that I used to struggle a lot with my weight and I was a MASSIVE self doubter. I failed for years at maintaining a healthy weight or lifestyle because I never "truly believed" I could do it and as I am always saying to my clients you have to get it right and change mentally before the physical changes can follow. It was only when I finally took the plunge to do my personal training course and say to myself "you CAN be a personal trainer and a damn good one" that I actually did it and now 3 years later I'm running my own business and loving it.

Anyway sidetracked sorry lol I tend to do that. I have always considered competing but again it was something that I always questioned "could I really do that?" "Could I get 'lean' enough to get up on stage confidently in a tiny bikini" and for so long my mind told me flat out NO. 

But at the end of last year after months of feeling down about myself and my life I decided I had two choices, to GIVE up and to let the borderline depression I was feeling consume me completely or to GET up and start finding my passion, drive again and self worth again. Deep down though, it was a no brainer- I wasn't giving up, that's not who I am or who I ever want to be.

So I took the plunge and did a few things I had considered for ages but was doubtful about. I enrolled in a Bachelor of Nutrition at Uni and I set out to find the person who was going to coach me onto stage. I was finally feeling determined again and knew that 2014 was going to be the year I achieved everything I set out to, no matter what.

I came across my coach Ingrid Barclay at Body Conquest through a fitness model and industry advocate I have admired for years. Ingrid was lovely and together we devised a plan for my journey to begin in January. 

My journey to competition (as I'm sure anyone who has competed will agree) has been filled with many ups and downs. As well as training up to 7x a week at times and constant food prepping (it really never ends) I was also working, constantly taking on new clients and starting most days at 5am not finishing till 7, attending uni and travelling 2 days a week and spending any moment not working, training or physically at uni,  studying and trying to keep up with the workload. 

If I'm honest there have been many weeks where I have wanted to give up, where I have been so tired physically and mentally and just fallen apart at the seams. However as cliche as it sounds, each time I felt like giving up I remembered why I started. I remembered and I told myself "you wanted this, you CAN do this and you WILL do this." Failure was NOT an option. 

The last few weeks of prep are especially draining mentally,emotionally and physically. I have gone from being completely happy one minute to feeling like absolute crap the next and it's frustrating because you really aren't in control of how you are going to feel each day. It's a massive mental game and you honestly have to just get up and roll with it and do your best, which is what I've done or tried to do (hopefully my clients feel the same lol I do apologise for any "hangry" or space cadet moments).

To get up on stage is a completely daunting thing for anyone but especially for someone who has struggled with weight at any point in there life because you always carry that small part of you around. You want to look your best and there are weeks leading up to comp where you will be retaining extra fluid or feeling like there is no way you can stand up there in front of all those people in a tiny bikini (seriously they are really that small). 

Another thing people may not tell you or realise is that prepping for a competition can be a pretty lonely journey. While you have friends and family around you who you know support you, it's hard for them to fully understand what you may be going through on this roller coaster ride or even why you are going through it. I'm lucky to have a great family and some really good friends who have been there along the way but you really have to be committed in doing it for you and sticking to that no matter what. I am really lucky also to have a team at Body Conquest some of whom I have formed great friendships with and it is great to have like minded people who have experienced the same things to talk/vent to. 

I have to say after getting on stage last weekend every single minute of the hard work is worth it and it was so lovely to be able to revel in it and also have the support of some great friends there to watch and to see my hard work unfold on the stage.

This week has been really tough as back to back depletes are extremely draining not only physically trying to train but also mentally and emotionally. I have had moments right up until yesterday where I have just been completely OVER IT but I know that again when I get on stage tomorrow it will be worth it, every single second. And who knows how I will feel? happy, tired, elated, sad, exhausted, excited, or maybe every single one of those all at once lol I'm not sure. What I do know and what I wanted to finish on is this:

Those who know me well know I like to practice what I preach. And what I preach is a healthy lifestyle, goal setting, commitment, consistency hard work, accountability and dedication. 

Last year when I was going through a hard time I was still practicing these things but I was doing it without the passion or drive and I needed to change that.  My decision to compete was one I made for myself and myself alone, it was a new and much needed challenge, a complete step out of my comfort zone (which I had become way too comfortable in) and a chance to start practicing all of the above things. Do I care if people never fully understand that? Not rly. Do I care if people praise my actions or results? While It's lovely to hear praise my answer is again, not rly. Why?? Because at the end of the day I did this for me and no one else. Don't get me wrong, the support and kind words people share are so lovely and so very much welcome and appreciated 😘 😘 but none of it should ever nor will ever compare with the SELF satisfaction, worth and strength this journey has given me. 

Knowing within myself that I set a goal, a challenge, I worked through massive physical and mental challenges each week, and from them I have grown stronger.

Knowing I stayed committed, focused and that despite anything that may have been against me (and believe me there were many barriers), I never gave up gives me much more satisfaction then anything else.

 I set out on this journey to achieve something for myself and to regain my passion, drive and self belief/worth again and I think I have done that, growing, learning and changing on the way. 

I truly believe people should be more inclined to seek SELF respect and not attention because at the end of the day it will last much longer 😉❤️👊💪

I do plan on continuing this journey in another season towards the second half of this year and hope to do some more writing about it as writing is another passion of mine and it's taken me about a year to be able to find that again. 

Thankyou for taking the time to read this, all comments are always welcomed 😘😘😘